1. The dog is not allowed in the house.

2. Ok, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain parts.

Help Urgently Required! Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for an exotic rare breed dog, we were finally notified by the breeder that at long last, our number has come up, and... WE'RE HAVING A PUPPY! We must IMMEDIATELY get rid of our children now, because we just KNOW how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be! Since our puppy will be arriving on Monday, we MUST place the children in new homes this weekend!!!

They are described as: One male, white, blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Name is Tommy. Temperament tested. Current on all shots. Tonsils removed already and very healthy condition! Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained and ets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little time and training, he will do well in a new home.

One female, strawberry blonde hair, green eyes. Three years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Her name is Mary. Temperament tested, but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and happy (mostly.) Gets along well with little boys, but does not like to share toys. She is house trained, and would do best in a one child household.

We really LOVE our children, and want to do what is best for them. I hope you understand, that ours is a UNIQUE situation, and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed by Sunday night at the latest. I hear that in Tennessee there are bins where you can leave off strays...does anyone know if there is something like that around here for children?

You say you're a dog lover. Then you find yourself in the prickly position of having to choose between your dog and a member of the opposite sex. Hey, we understand. It happens.

You get confused, and who wouldn't? Life is complicated. On the one hand you've got a faithful companion who's stayed with you through thick and thin, rain and shine.

On the other you've got a shady character who looked mighty hot just before the lights went up at bar closing.

And that new person makes it all seem so simple. "It's me or the dog."

You're a dog lover, but that doesn't automatically make you a genius. So to guide you in choosing between a person or a dog ( a decision that you'll have to live with the rest of your born days) we've developed this scientific test. Good luck.

1. Was mistaken in his belief that there was a category for drinking out of the toilet.

2. Thought he saw that little chuckwagon.

3. He didn't know that was a judge's leg.

4. Don King's barber - bad idea.

5. Like him, the whole thing was fixed.

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day of creation, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created furniture for the dog to use he wishes.

On the fourth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.

On the fifth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the sixth day God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and #the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest ... but he had to walk the dog